The New Food To Eat

by Ben & Amy

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1.
01:48
2.
01:19
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01:30
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02:12
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02:40
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04:48
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02:57
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01:56
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00:17
12.
00:25
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15.
02:14
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03:17
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19.
01:45
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21.

credits

released April 17, 2009

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Track Name: Mess
Why do I always have to clear up this mess...
Track Name: Horn Song
Horn Song!
Track Name: Fairy
I like fairy, fairy for me
I have fairy for my breakfast, and fairy for tea
I like fairy, fairy for me
I have fairy in my armchair while I'm watching TV

Fairy
I like it
Fairy
I like it

I like fairy, fairy for you
I know you like fairy 'cause I like fairy too
I like fairy, fairy for you
You should join my fairy crew

Fairy
I like it
Fairy
I like it

I like fairy, fairy for us
I like fairy when I'm on the bus
I like fairy, fairy for us
I like fairy so much it's ridiculous

Fairy
I like it
Fairy
I like it
Track Name: Mockney Patois
...in fact I'm bringing out a new line of, um...soup-flavoured ice-creams, to include carrot and coriander, tomato and basil, cream of chicken, leek and potato and...

Mockney Patois! Mockney Patois!

Mockney Patois! Mockney Patois!

Pseudo-Proletarian Mockney Patois!
Track Name: Dustbin
Don't need no bicycle
Don't need no sleigh
I just want a dustbin to ride in all day
I roll round and round
Down the motorway
I do not care what the police say

I like my dustbin in more than four ways
With the help of my dustbin I'll get through this maze
When I'm in my dustbin I eat mayonnaise
My dustbin is metal, it's not made of clays
Track Name: Wrong
Amy is crap. Amy got it wrong!

Shut up, let me do it again.
Track Name: Help The Itchy
Help the itchy
Help them get a scratch
Help the itchy or we'll come into your house and we'll smash up all of your friends, and we'll take away your dog

Help the itchy
Help them with your cash
If you don't give us money in the next five minutes we'll smash your face in with a hammer and laugh and call you a nern and run off with your keys and your girlfriend and your car

Please help the itchy
Track Name: Trousers
I wear trousers all the time, so you can't see my legs
My legs are long and thin and white and you don't want to see my legs
My trousers are the finest thing a man has ever made
And that is why I sing this song for they should be displayed

Trousers
Trousers...oh!
Trousers
Trousers...oh!
Trousers
Trousers...oh!

You may think you're doing fine without your trousers on,
but the one without the trousers is the one that will go wrong.

Thank you.

I wear my trousers in my bed when I have gone to sleep
Some people like to take them off, but those people are weak
I wear my trousers in the bath so that I don't get wet
I'm not so sure about that one, it isn't working yet

Trousers
Trousers...oh!
Trousers
Trousers...oh!
Trousers
Trousers...oh!

You may think you're doing fine without your trousers on, but the one who has the trousers on will never get it wrong!

Got it wrong.
Track Name: Somewhere
Excuse me?

Yeah what's that?

Could you tell me how to get to somewhere?

Oh it's just over there.

Oh, thank you so much.
Track Name: My Leg Hurts
My leg hurts, it's a shame

My leg hurts, it's a pain

Every time I stretch out my leg

My leg hurts, it's a shame
Track Name: Song For The Cheese
This is a song for the cheese
This is a song for the goat's cheese
This is a song for the ham
Everyone sing to the ham
Track Name: Pork Balls
I've got pork balls

You've got pork balls
We've got pork balls

(Sweet and sour)

Urh.

Spring rolls spring rolls spring rolls spring rolls...

Oh, alright mate!
You got a cough? Oh, you're playing Pork Balls! Oh, I've got this! Oh, what level are you on? I haven't got this far...I'm only on the cheese level.

No, I'm on the fifth level, it's the castle level...it's really really exciting...

Oh no watch out...oh, was that me, sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean to...

Oh, don't worry, I saved it...I saved it five minutes ago.

What's on the castle level, I haven't got that far yet?

Well, on the castle level obviously you're in a castle...
Track Name: You've Wasted A Ball
You've wasted a ball
You've wasted it all
For a ball
You've wasted a ball
You've wasted it all
You're a ball
Track Name: Jelly TV
Couldn't get a lift to work today
Because my friend had hurt his brain
I didn't want to ride my bicycle
So instead I got the train

I saw you on the train on the way to Shanghai
At first I thought that you were a stranger
Your label said 'Adam' and I couldn't read the rest
You smelled like recycled paper
And then I remembered where I knew you from

I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured
I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured

I got up from my seat and I went to say hello
But before I could get there
The train had stopped, you got up and got off
Running off to who knows where

And now I'll never know whether it was true that

I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured
I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured

I got home late and turned on the TV
I was so sure that I had seen a jelly
But then...

And now on Channel 15, it's time for Jelly TV, and in the raspberry corner it's Adam. He's everyone's favourite, and he smells like recycled paper.

I knew it!

I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured
I saw you on Jelly TV
You were raspberry flavoured
Track Name: Bob Is Having An Operation
Bob is having an operation
They're elongating his legs
Bob is having an operation
He's having a head replacement

What d'you think?

More balsamic vinegar.

Bob is having an operation
They're turning his hair into sausages
Bob is having an operation
He's having a kidney stone transplant

Where's the skin?

More salt!

Bob is having an operation
They're cutting off his ear with a toothbrush
Bob is having an operation
They've replaced his feet with a dartboard

Cabbage leaf?
Not at all.
Herbes de provence.
Wait, what's this?
Insurance won't pay?
We'll have to put him back straight away

Bob is having an operation
To change him back to normal
Bob is having an operation
His insurance didn't cover the bill
Track Name: Blue Bees
Blue bees!

Won't you come and see my bees?
No.
Blue bees!
No.
Please?
No.

Why not?

'Cause I don't like your bees
Your bees annoy me
So take your bees away from me

Fine, come on bees, let's go!

This is what it feels like to be alive!
Track Name: My Grandfather Was A Chair
My grandfather was a chair
He was auctioned in 1902 by a bear called Mr Castle who also made skis.
And I don't care if you argue, 'cause I was there when they took him to the tip 'cause his legs fell off and he was all scuffed. He was a chair.
Track Name: The New Food To Eat
Gosh, I've got to do an awful lot of shopping today. Er...let's see, I need some blue foil, and a sniggering box, er...cheese pesto, a salad pick, Hume's fork...Konkers, er, some tinned cedar...I'm running out of nern treats, I need some for my nern...some polylamp eggs, to light up my fridge...egg paste...spon pie...metronomes...er...got to get a difficult pancake, and some compressed cream...rat salad...um...some notch filter paper...freshly grown chin...vegetarian lemon zest...some dirt...just regular old dirt...hamburger style poppadoms...er...frozen club of lamb...some wheat L's, yeah I love those...swede balls and loops...witch biscuits! Potatu mallets...some snark fritters...snake sausages...bone salad...pack of jets...gosky patties ready meal...takes an awful long time to make it from scratch, I might as well put it straight in the microwave...some amblongus pie...ravenscroft pan...crumbobblius cutlets...an eggcup...an encyclopedia of the letter B...pavlova limes...some wish tarts...gravity sprouts...lemon flour...some upset mince, it just cooks so much better than happy mince...er, bothering candles...a big bath! Been needing one of those for years...some giraffe essence...a knife caddy...a splonge (just the one)...some Face Value pasta sauce, and, er...think that's it...

Eggbread!

...er...oh no wait hold on, I need two currants and, er, some eggbread.